Rise Above This

Getting Better

It has been a while since I posted. Looking back I see that I left you on a bad note. So let me try and fix that. When I last wrote I was depressed. I spent a few years of my life in a deep depression. Now I am slowly getting better. It isn’t easy and there are times when I return to that dark place but I am trying. I have now got people there for me to help, people who are willing to stay up at 3 in the morning and just listen. Not only that but now I am trying to be there for other people who may be in the place I was a year ago. I don’t know if you can ever truly recover from something like this or not but I am going to give it my best to try.

To anyone out there in the same situation I am here for you. To anyone who knows someone like this if you can then try and be there for them, even if they try to push you away it is just because they don’t want you to see how terrible they are or because they just can’t express what is wrong and it frustrates them. The signs may not be obvious, they may be the happiest person you know. But try and keep an eye out for it.

I try to tell everyone even slightly close to me that I love them because you never know the torment they may be in. And I try and make them know how special they are.

-Angel

Silent Screams

When I was depressed I used to find myself crying myself to sleep most nights. I would silently scream in agony while the world around me slept, none the wiser. The most painful thing about it, the thing that drove me insane, was that nobody knew. I was in so much pain but no one knew. There would be no help because no one would ever hear my silent screams. It would just last forever.

This blog sorta reminds me of that because no matter what I write at the end of the day it’s all falling on deaf ears. I can write whatever I want and at the end of the day nothing will really change.

I have always been that one person that people depend on. The one to catch them when they fall. But what no one ever really realises is that the reason I can catch them so easily before they hit rock bottom is because I have a permanent residence down there.

I guess I just wanna feel safe enough to tell someone everything and know that they will keep me safe. That they will be able to hold me and stop me from hurting. But I guess you can never really stop hurting. And I guess you can never really leave your demons behind. They are always there, waiting in the shadows, waiting to drag you back down.

Maybe one day they leave me forever. Until then I am just silently screaming.

30 Seconds to Mars

Skyline

The city looks so pretty
Do you wanna burn it with me?
Till the skies bleed ashes
and the fucking skyline crashes

We make ashes just with matches
To ignite the flame
and all the hopes of a youth deemed
fucking insane. They say:

Take the pill
in God we trust
go and kill
God loves us
after life, after death
Breathing till there is no breath

I will not die in the night
but in the light
of the sun and the ashes
of this world in my lungs

But who am I to say
Lets all just run away
grab your saints and pray
we’re gonna burn this world today!

-Hollywood Undead

You’re Beautiful When You SMILE!!!

Come on Stardust. Time to shine!

“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements – the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life – weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. The stars died so that you could be here today.”

— Lawrence Krauss